October 16, 2008

a dialogue with the two leading presidential candidates....

McCain: And of course, I've been talking about the economy. Of course, I've talked to people like Joe the plumber and tell him that I'm not going to spread his wealth around. I'm going to let him keep his wealth. And of course, we're talking about positive plan of action to restore this economy and restore jobs in America.

Lindsay: Oh right, because Joe who is a plumber will actually have enough "wealth" by himself to pay for his family's health care needs, and his kids' education including college expenses, and any damage to his property from catastrophic natural events (indubitably caused by our extreme care for the environment), and food, and the new bridge into his town, and...and...and. Come on! Are you serious?! Where does Joe's wealth go when he loses his job? If it's everyone for himself--what's the point of even living inside a society?

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Obama: Now with respect to a couple of things Senator McCain said, the notion that I voted for a tax increase for people making $42,000 a year has been disputed by everybody who has looked at this claim that Senator McCain keeps on making. Even FOX News disputes it, and that doesn't happen very often when it comes to accusations about me.

Lindsay: HAHAHAHAHAHA

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Obama: When President Bush came into office, we had a budget surplus and the national debt was a little over $5 trillion. It has doubled over the last eight years. And we are now looking at a deficit of well over half a trillion dollars.

Lindsay: Just recently, the national debt clock in New York had to be replaced because it didn't have enough digits on it. TEN TRILLION DOLLARS. Impressive.

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McCain: Free trade with Colombia is something that's a no-brainer.

Lindsay: Right- because free trade would really help stabilize the Columbian economy...pffft. Read Chomsky for a good discussion about Columbia... and Venezuela for that matter.

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McCain: Well, it is a terribly painful situation for Americans. They're seeing their premiums, their co-pays go up. Forty-seven million Americans are without health insurance in America today.
And it really is the cost, the escalating costs of health care that are inflicting such pain on working families and people across this country. And I am convinced we need to do a lot of things.
We need to put health care records online. The V.A. does that. That will -- that will reduce costs. We need to have more community health centers. We need to have walk-in clinics.

Lindsay: What happened to Joe paying for all of his health care by himself with the "wealth" that you are going to let him keep to himself? You mean to say, it is not enough?! You mean to say that even a small successful business owner such as himself cannot afford to go to the hospital if he cuts himself while fixing a drain pipe.... in the "richest and most powerful nation in the world." Oh-- right, community clinics, of course--that'll work. I'm sure they are totally funded.

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Schieffer: Let's talk about energy and climate control. Every president since Nixon has said what both of you...

McCain: Climate change.

Schieffer: Climate change, yes -- has said what both of you have said, and, that is, we must reduce our dependence on foreign oil.

Lindsay: Ummm, wait-- I get it... in some way if we don't use Middle East and Venezuelan oil, then we somehow avert the impending doom climate change will bring to civilizations across the globe*. WOW, thank you Schieffer, I never saw it that way before. YES, then I agree--full speed ahead on drilling in Alaska!

*(As a sidenote-- I think that forcing everyone to drive SMART cars would also work to avoid the apocolypse, you know, just in my opinion).

2 comments:

Ms. K said...

What about McCain's comment - "If you wanted to run against Bush, you should have done so 4 years ago". You have to admit that was pretty good, since he has also been in the Senate with McCain for the past few years and saw the tension between McCain and Bush.

Sarah and Brian said...

I say "LINDSAY for President!!!"