June 29, 2009

June 25, 2009

bananas for everyone!

Morford, J. P. & Macfarlane, J. (2003). Frequency characteristics of American Sign Language. Sign Language Studies, 3(2), p. 213-225.

June 17, 2009

No, Thank YOU Lorman.

-->Welcome to an online chat session at Bank of America. Please hold while we connect you to the next available Bank of America Online Banking Specialist. Your chat may be monitored and recorded for quality purposes. Your current wait time is approximately 0 minutes. You are currently 1 in queue. Thank you for your patience.
-->Thank you for choosing Bank of America. You are now being connected to a Bank of America Online Banking Specialist.

Lorman: Hello, my name is Lorman. Thank you for choosing Bank of America and our Online Banking Text Chat service. I'm here to assist you with your personal accounts today. May I have your name and zip code to begin?

Linzi: my name is lindsay ferrara. i live in australia. what zip code do you need?

Lorman: A very warm welcome to you! Lindsay. How may I assist you today?

Oh, I guess you don't REALLY need that information. Why, OH WHY did I just give you my real name?!!

Linzi: I am trying to wire money from australia to my bank of america checking account in the states

Lorman: I understand your concern. I will be glad to assist you regarding this.

This is certainly a concern, you took the words right out of my native English speaking mouth.

interlude: info for an incoming international wire transfer

Lorman: While not required to receive an incoming wire from an international source, it may be helpful to
provide this information to the sending party in case it is needed by their institution.


Linzi: how do i know which BOA branch address to use?

Lorman: Let me quickly check that for you.

Linzi: thank you

Lorman: the branch address is 10775 N ORACLE RD, ORO, Valley AZ 857377015. Is there anything else that I can assist you with today?

Linzi: um

Lorman: I hope I was able to assist you in the best possible way. If you have any question, please feel free to contact us again any time. We are available 24 hours seven days a week. Thank you for being a valuable Bank of America customer.

Linzi: the address is not right. what is the city again?

Lorman: City is ORO, Valley. This the branch address.

Linzi: like BOA's headquarters?

Lorman: This is the address where your account was opened.

Linzi: no it was not. i have never lived in arizona before. am i supposed to use the address of the bank where i opened the account or am i supposed to use the address of the bank closest to my billing address?

Lorman: I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause. Let me quickly check once again that for you.

Inconvience, why yes Lorman, I suppose it is somewhat of an inconvenience. Although, really, to be honest, it's only an inconvenience because now I don't believe one word you type and I'm going to have to go through this dreaded process again at some other time.

Lorman: I apologize for any confusion. The branch address is 722 H ST, NE Washington DC 20023697.

Linzi: that sounds better, thank you very much

Lorman: You are most welcome. I really appreciate your understanding in this matter.

It's okay Lorman, we have only ourselves to blame. If weren't so dang cheap, we could put out for some native speakers in our own country. But no matter-- I'm glad you have a job and can now afford an education and food for your family.

June 15, 2009

pretty colo(u)rs!

who had any idea that coloured lights were such a hit in this town... that's what happens when you're a million miles from everywhere :)

June 11, 2009

quote of the day

"New Guineans even regularly capture chicks of wild cassowaries (an ostrich-like large, flightless bird) and raise them to eat as a delicacy--even though captive adult cassowaries are extremely dangerous and now and then disembowel village people."
(Jared Diamond- during his discussion of humanity's domestication of animals in his new book "Guns, Germs, and Steel", p. 165)

Let that be a lesson to you. Cassowaries are undomesticatable and enjoy human bowels.

June 2, 2009

I made it...almost.

Georgia tried to kill me.

I swear.

I went out for a run the other day in Lincoln County, population 7. A simple out and back run from our lakeside cabin to the "main" road. I chose that route because the seven people that live in Lincoln county have probably never seen a pedestrian and I wanted to get back to Australia all safe and sound-like.

My precautions proved relevant but misguided.

Georgia, you may have won this battle, but the last laugh is on you because I'm on my way back to winter...MWAHAHAHAHA!